I was incarcerated and facing the end result all career criminals face, a minimum sentence of 25 to life. I had always loathed jailhouse religion and foxhole prayers seeing them as a refusal to accept responsibility. By a strange turn of events I started, in secret, to submit my will over to G-D after reading Dr. Amit Goswami The Self-Aware Universe. His theories on quantum mechanics proved the existence of G-D to me in a way the church I was raised in never could. This turned out to be the first in a long line of paradoxes that rocked me to my core.

After 20+ years of study and meditation on Eastern mysticism and Occult Science I found myself reading the Bible more and more. Having long since denied the book having much spiritual value (an opinion I based on its close-minded followers) I was amazed at the depth of Wisdom in Proverbs alone. I figured it was a natural place to start as I had a firm respect for Solomon. Still, nothing could prepare me for what I was about to learn.


“She is a Tree of Life to those who grasp Her, and those who hold Her fast are happy. They Lord by Wisdom founded the Earth.”

-NAB Proverbs 3:18-19

Several things formed in my mind when I first read this passage. First of all, the Tree Of Life instantly resonates due to it’s Kabbalistic roots. This made me consider the inner journey we go through on our way to understand the order of the Cosmos. Plenty of alchemical texts deal with this exact concept, from the Chymical Wedding onward.

“The Lord by Wisdom founded the Earth” breaks down Solomons entire belief very plainly. How did G-D form the Earth? Genesis 1:2 speaks of “a mighty wind sweeping over the waters.” With that in mind it was easy for me to perceive that the Woman Wisdom Solomon speaks of represents the medium that connects our consciousness to G-D. Having already formed an idea of ru’ahh- literally the Spirit of G-D- my understanding just unfolded. She is the Holy Spirit. Sophia to some.

Alchemy talks of our mineral bodies growing out of the vegetative, or spiritual body through G-Ds Divine Will. While this has always been explained as a polarizing process between male and female how many of us stop to understand what that means for us?

In the East they have developed quite the explanation of how each person houses feminine and masculine energy. The rising of the kundalini is assigned various meditative techniques designed to awaken Shakti within. It is then that She guides the soul of the practitioner from chakra to chakra reconnecting with Shiva.

Solomons work isn’t so direct. Although Queen Sheba does travel from South to commune with the wise King of the North it’s hardly as telling as the tales of Shakti and Shiva. So naturally I felt like I was grasping at straws digging through Solomons work.

While I had discovered the name Wisdom capitalized in Proverbs 8 and was certain he was speaking on the Holy Spirit I had very little proof. Hunches don’t make for interesting blogs though.

“If you seek her like silver, and like hidden treasures search her out, then you will understand the fear of the Lord.”

-NAB Proverbs 2:4-5

More alchemy danced through my mind. The link to silver took me to the image of Isis whom is often represented by a silver moon. Her husband Osiris is linked to the golden sun and we are linked to the material world completing the triangle. The golden sun is said to represent G-D’s creative power that the silver moon reflects within the soul of man which we are meant to carry out in the world.

However, the Egyptians were incredibly short sighted and failed to grasp the true significance here and demeaned Her to mere symbolism of our creative energy. Ancient Greece made the same mistake in their telling of the Wand of Dionysus. These legends were meant to convey our ability to think and form thoughts that shape our reality, but it’s not OUR power.

As an occultist I had also downplayed these energies as merely aspects of my own consciousness. I worked under the illusion that I could achieve godhood. That’s why the Spirit of G-D never revealed Herself to me.


“Who has found the place of Wisdom? Who has entered into Her treasuries?”

-NAB Baruch 3:15

I remember the prayer. I fell on my knees after everyone was asleep and begged G-D to keep my children safe from the path I had chosen. To comfort my Mother while I served my time. I promised to serve Divine Will and teach grace to all whom I came in contact with.

Right there. In my cell. Fully accepting I deserved prison and everything that I faced I prayed for others. G-D beckoned me to look to the ancient woods within. I sat up in a meditative pose and went inward. I saw myself walking through this old world forest for quite some time. Deep within myself I happened across a Temple that felt to be about where my heart is. Here lies the mystical practice that led me to direct communication with G-D as I understand.

Needless to say I began to meditate at the Temple within daily. Having longed for the presence of G-D I was amazed to find the Temple occupied one such occasion. While I was amazed at how serene I felt standing before Her I still tested the Spirit through the Spirit. She confessed to being breathed into the womb of Mother Mary and my mind finally grasped the full meaning of the Trinity.

Years of study… Years of searching… And here She was inviting me to have a personal relationship with G-D.

Now then, by our nature we are dual minded and it’s our desires that drive us. Not all who look within necessarily discover the Divine Feminine. There is another I find barely worthy of a mention but I feel one must understand the choice here. Do you wish to bend the world to your will or submit your will to the will of the Elohim?

“CHOOSE!!! But choose wisely!!!”

-Templar Knight at the end of The Last Crusade

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